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“Get out of the House”

In my previous article I highlighted the three most important elements of how to differentiate yourself; 1) dream, 2) get out of the house and 3) leave no stone unturned. Today I would like to discuss the second point in more detail. I have learned that no matter how big my dreams are, they are not going to come true sitting cross-legged on the floor chanting. It doesn’t matter how much I visualize; the only way to make dreams come true is to put legs on them.

I now here share a secret I learned the painful way. I had to get out from behind the computer and go meet someone. Why? Because getting out of the house gets me out of my head. Left home, alone, behind the computer my head creates lies and fears and cripple me and can destroy my dreams.

I have been there and have witnessed this. Perfectly capable, highly qualified, and otherwise likable people are pounded into the ground, hiding behind the computer, applying for job after job online, and getting nowhere. How painful did it have to get before I was willing to try something different? How scary could a cup of coffee be? I started with someone I knew who wasn’t so scary to me. See for yourself what it will do for you. I cannot emphasize this point enough: get out of the house before it is too late. Get out now! Pretend the house is on fire or something, but whatever you do get out!

What I found was that, when I got out of the house, it was like a breath of fresh air. No one bit my head off, told me I was stupid, or a myriad of other visions I had conjured up in my head. People are generally good, nice, and willing to help. I saw a whole different side of life, and it energized me to want more, so I did it again. When I got out of the house, I got better. I got up every morning, got dressed, and acted like I was going to the office just like I had a job. I conducted my job search as if it was my job, because, guess what, the reality was that it was my job, and my only job was to get a job. Anyone who has ever been in this position will say that the hardest job they ever had was looking for a job.

This principle does not apply to only job seekers. Somewhere along the line, Americans stopped socializing. Television, Internet, video games and ever growing social media provide a virtual reality, to the point that we do not know what reality is. I am here to shatter a paradigm: reality TV is not reality. If I want to meet the girl of my dreams, I need to get off the dating site. Okay, I am making light of a very serious, psychological phobia, but you get my point, right? If I want to meet people that I will enjoy, I need to go do something that I enjoy. If I go skydiving then, lo and behold, I may meet others who love to skydive while I am enjoying myself instead of hiding from fear behind my computer and not enjoying myself while I wait for my dream girl to magically appear. Once I know what my core values are and what I want, I need to go out and get it. It really is that simple, that true. When I put loving thoughts and behavior into the universe, I plant seeds of self-worth. When I put unloving thoughts and behavior into the universe, I destroy seeds of self-worth. Identification with an unhappy and deeply fearful self is ultimately a fiction of the mind.

I am a banker, and this makes sense to me because I do not see it as any different than deposits and withdrawals on an account. If I deposit into my account, it grows. If I withdraw from my account, it shrinks. It is okay to withdraw when you need to, but if you withdraw more than you deposit—in other words, you take more than you give—then you are going to get that right back from the universe in the form of an overdraft notice with a hefty fine attached. And if you do not make good on the overdraft, your account will be closed and you will not be able to go anywhere else or open a new account until you do.

If you “Dream Big” and “Get Out of the House” you will differentiate yourself. Next time I will discuss “Leave No Stone Unturned”. Until then, take a walk and breathe deep.

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About Bob Cantrall

Robert Cantrall has worked in the financial services industry for more than 15 years. He has worked an additional 15 years in eight other industries for companies ranging from start-ups to Fortune 500. Throughout his career, Bob has lost his job nine times including when WaMu failed in 2008. A native of Oregon, Bob currently…